Here, just take this little pill......

So, today I just started after circling around the little brown pill, my brave knight which will (hopefully) do battle with the unwelcome visitor. ("Sir Chemo"....??) Of course, when he slings his sword around and uses the lance, there are sometimes other impacts on the body. I think, having taken the pill, I expected an instant response and of course there wasn't one. So, like before, you have to just go on living "one day/hour/minute-at-a-time".

It's a good day to start chemo, since it is raining out and I wanted to stay home anyway. It really is deceptively easy, they tell you: "just take the pill....if there is anything that develops in your body, let us know.....we'll check back with you in two weeks" (check your blood, take CT scans, etc. etc.).

This is not quite what I had in mind when I retired.

A note: I want to thank you all for your concern and your offers of help, etc. It makes it a lot easier to go through this process knowing that you are out there. I will feel free to stay in touch and to ask for the things I need. What you can do is just keep in touch with me....that makes all the difference in the world.

I am thinking seriously about leaving this house sometime this spring. It will take a while to do it and certainly (at some point) some labor, but I think it is time. It may be that the chemo process will be just the thing to push me out of my "den".

Out of the Frying Pan....

How it works:

It was a while ago that I wrote to tell you about the tests they were running to see if I had cancer. I may have written some of this before so I hope you will be patient. Now I am on the edge of the treatment for what has been determined to be renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer). This is the same cancer that was treated in 1988 and in 2008 with surgery. It has now reappeared in the adrenal glands (no longer in the kidney).

The treatment for RCC is a form of chemo-therapy. The drug is called Sutent and is taken daily for periods of four weeks followed by two weeks "off", so a new cycle is started every six weeks. The goal is to stabilize or shrink the existing tumors and prevent their growth. Sutent is an anti-angiogenesis drug; i.e. it works by denying blood flow to the tumors. The progress of the treatment is measured every 6-8 weeks by CT scans.

The obvious question (the one that preoccupied me for weeks) is whether it makes sense to attack the body (or part of it) - as chemotherapy does - in order to "save" it. (During the Vietnam war, there was a famous occasion in which a village friendly to the Viet Cong was completely destroyed by air power and a spokesman for the U.S. military justified the action by declaring that "It was necessary to destroy the village in order to save it.")

My oncologist, my accupuncturist, and my chiropractor all said the same thing: that chemo is much more "targeted" than it once was and that there are various strategies to alleviate the side affects created by the chemo. It will be a trying process - not so "simple" as surgery or radiation - and it will certainly test the spirit as well as the body. My best strategy is put together a team of medical people - both mainstream and alternative - and personal supporters to have the best chance of success.

There is a lot of research and traditional knowledge teaching us that a positive attitude and a strong spiritual and psychological makeup can have a measurably positive influence on recovery.

How it feels:

First, of course, it is scary as hell. We're talking issues of life and death here. I have had parents and other relatives pass on, even sisters and other people of my own generation. Now I am the oldest person in my blood family.

Luckily, I am retired and I can concentrate my energies on living my life and (in the process) strengthening my immune system and my body's capacity to resist the effects of the tumors and the chemo.

(More later......)